'I moved desks to be away from drama': Mean girl coworkers leave an urn on employee's desk with the label 'ashes of problem employees'

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Ben Weiss • Writer and Editor
Aug 25, 2024 8:00 AM EDT

Every naive employee has to learn how to create boundaries with one's coworkers. A professional work team is not a sorority no matter how much someone may try to create that dynamic. If you find yourself trying to be one of the cool kids at work, take a minute to step back and remember that this is not high school and you likely do not need your work relationships to overlap too much with your friendships outside of work. Of course, there are exceptions and there are plenty of work environments that can help create healthy relationships. This particular startup, however, does not apply.

This Redditor had to learn the hard way that the "cool kids" at her job were petty and manipulative. It got to the point where they would pick on her repeatedly and even made a terrible joke by leaving an urn on the employee's desk with the label "ashes of problem employees." This came after the employee tried to avoid drama by moving to a different work desk.

Keep scrolling below for the consequences once the employee's manager got involved. For more, check out this post about a new hire who discovered a mistake in her contract.

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  • 01
    "No one should have to work in a hostile environment." A о TAD W K 71 81 91 01 BA 2 U 1 о . D Caps lock A 5 F G H J C SAR Y x V N Sea Wh AR ALG Sy 0 Backspace 0 A Exter SN
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  • 02
    I moved desks to be away from drama, and my coworkers put a gravestone urn on my desk that said "ashes of problem employees"
    via awmaniblooedmyself
  • 03
    I posted the other day about them saying we're not friends, after that I had a talk with them saying it's fine, that my feelings were hurt but I understood.
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  • 04
    Then it hit the fan. I offered to help decorate and make cupcakes for one of their birthdays for the office, and that caused the person planning it to throw a fit and say "you just do it." And later after not
    via awmaniblooedmyself
  • 05
    knowing what to do I just apologized if it seemed I was overstepping and that wasn't my intention, I was just offering my help. She said cool, let's decorate togethee on Monday.
    via awmaniblooedmyself
  • 06
    Monday comes, no one says anything to me about decorating. I'm waiting, I move to a new desk to remove myself from that area because I just wanted some distance from everything, nothing. They start decorating and I hear one of them go "SHE was SUPPOSED to decorate but DIDNT"
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  • 07
    that's when I got out the decorations from my purse and was going to hand them over and they declined and told me they got their own go put them innthe drawer and walked away. I cried,
    via awmaniblooedmyself
  • 08
    not because my feelings were hurt but because even though I had moved away I was still on the receiving end of pettiness. I did call the crisis hotline because I couldn't get my emotions under control.
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  • 09
    Today comes. I contemplated asking my husband to take me to the ER for mental health inpatient but i decided i just want to keep pushing. First half of the day is fine, I hear laughter and some jokes at my expense, but whatever.
    via awmaniblooedmyself
  • 10
    I'm away from it. Then I hear some laughter about something, the biggest perpetrator telling others to look and laughing, swapping numbers to text instead of message on teams. I get up to go get a snack and I hear "she got up". I'm like.. okay this is about me,
    via awmaniblooedmyself
  • 11
    there's something, let me go get my snack and grab the rest of my stuff. They had put a figure urn shaped like a gravestone that said "ashes of problem employees"
    via awmaniblooedmyself
  • 12
    there. No one said a word or looked at me. I had an anxiety attack, went outside, texted our supervisor (they're in another state) and said we need to have a meeting because there's b happening and it's damaging my work performance.
    via awmaniblooedmyself
  • 13
    Our supervisor agreed this shouldn't be happening and "no one should have to work in a hostile environment" were his words.
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  • 14
    I just want to work and go to school man, leave my name out of your mouth and off your mind. I have enough health problems going on I don't need this adding to it.
    via awmaniblooedmyself
  • 15
    EDIT: Good morning! I read everyone's comments. I would like to clarify a few things here: 1. I have done a lot of self reflection throughout this whole thing. From the beginning of offering help to yesterday, every move and every conversation I was very careful in. At this point, I
    via awmaniblooedmyself
  • 16
    knew the type of people they are and they do misconstrue things in their favor and then pump each other up with emotion in private chats.
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  • 17
    2. Yes these people are very involved with each others lives and I got excited to be apart of a new environment. I helped plan a bridal shower, I went clubbing, helped plan birthdays, etc. That was my biggest mistake. I should've just kept to myself.
    via awmaniblooedmyself
  • 18
    3. No, I will not be filing a police report. I'm not looking to ruins connections or lives over this. Like I've said, I just want to show up and do my work and not be b
    via awmaniblooedmyself
  • 19
    Tootbootscootpoot · 16 hr. ago Hi OP! A friendly HR professional- Document everything, with detailed dates and instances for your paper trail. Also
    via awmaniblooedmyself
  • 20
    after you have this meeting be sure to follow up with your supervisor via email on a recap of the conversation and addressing next steps.
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  • 21
    This is ALSO in case ANY retaliation happens if you submit an ADA request or Leave requests for an employment lawyer to easily access. Remember
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  • 22
    your rights and your supervisor Although may be friendly, might not be on your side all the time. Cover your apples always and sending you virtual hugs. It's that people can't just go to work and do their job with out making other feel miserable.
    via awmaniblooedmyself

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terrible coworkers workplace-stories work stories toxic-workplace job work coworkers reddit thread Reddit company toxic-work-environment
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